Russian Church Deploys Holy Icon Against Ukrainian Drones

In a bold, if not entirely conventional, military strategy, the Russian Orthodox Church in Perm recently deployed its holiest artifact, the icon of the Mother of God of Perm, in a direct, front-line spiritual offensive against incoming Ukrainian drones. Priests, vestments billowing in the wind like tactical parachutes, paraded the ancient painting through the city's streets, presumably establishing a 'divine no-fly zone' detectable only by advanced theological radar. Eyewitnesses reported the procession was 'very reverent,' though none could confirm any immediate cessation of drone activity or even a slight wobbling of their trajectory. Church officials, however, remain optimistic, citing historical precedent where, admittedly, drones were not a factor. Experts in both drone warfare and canon law are currently scrambling to update their respective doctrines to account for this unprecedented fusion of antique iconography and modern aerial threats. One local resident, Dmitry Volkov, was quoted as saying, 'I always thought we needed better air defenses, but if divine intervention is cheaper, I'm all for it.' Meanwhile, analysts expect a surge in demand for prayer beads and anti-drone incense on the black market, just in case the Mother of God needs a little backup from consumer-grade spiritual deterrents.